i'll be seeing him play in boston on february 24th!

when i was ordering the ticket, i originally had floor seats for the middle section, but then ticketmaster wouldn't process my order and said there was an error, and i had to go and find seats all over again and lost my floor seats!!!!!!!!!!!

i was so mad, but now i'm sitting still kind of near the stage, but not in front of the stage, and a bit off to the side.

i'm not sure how good these seats are in terms of how we'll be seeing the concert.

/sigh.

so we're in loge thirteen, row seven, seats nine and ten.

i hope these are good seats.
i'm SUPER bummed about those floor seats. fuck ticketmaster for giving me an order error!!!!!

oh well.

I'M GOING TO SEE JOHN MAYER LIVE IN CONCERT!!!!

i have become an angrier person in the past few months.

everything sucks,
and i don't know how to deal.

remember when i actually had something to say about my life?

now, i feel like i'm so passive, and i'm living life just because i'm here and things are going on.

but i'm not really doing anything.

i love this routine.

not.

kbai.

here i am, sitting in barnes and noble where i should be gathering information to write my synthesis paper, but instead i've found myself on xanga. way2b life.

as i was listening to some owl city - who i've recently found out has made their way onto the radio! - i couldn't help but notice that the people sitting at the table next to me consisted of a soon-to-be married couple conferencing with a know-it-all man who gave them the details of the how-to of weddings.

every so often, being the super creeper that i am, i looked up from my notebook and glanced over to this table, easedropping on the conversation. the know-it-all man would ask the soon-to-be married couple questions as to whether or not they knew the procedure of obtaining a marriage license, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. and then i would look back down at my notebook and continue my work.

i saw the group beginning to pack up, and i noticed the woman beginning to tear up - with what i assume to be tears of happiness. the soon-to-be married couple and the know-it-all man hugged, then parted ways.

instead of resuming to my ridiculously (not) amazing note-taking skills of four articles about science versus religion, i stared at the empty table. and i spaced out. i started wondering what life would be like if i were to be married.

i never imagined myself taking on another last name. i've always figured i'd keep my last name. to me, it just seems so bizarre if i took on a not-asian last name. and, hypothetically speaking, if i married a not-so-vietnamese asian, and the last name was not-vietnamese, that would give people even more reason to start thinking i'm some other asian race that i simply am not.

it's strange. many many many times, i've thought of what my wedding would be like. how i'd love to get married on a grassy hill, over looking the deep blue ocean water, rushing in and out along the pretty pretty white sand. but i never thought of who would be standing at the alter, waiting for me to walk down the aisle.

somehow, ever since i was young, whenever i'd look off into the distant future, imagining the home i would live in, i never imagined who would be there with me. would i have a person, my person, being there with me? who is my person?

maybe i've been far too caught up with those fairy tale yaya hoohah that i never actually stopped to think how i could be happy and who i could be happy with. up until now, i realize that i've been just letting whatever come into my life, and if i like it, then yahoo, and if i don't, well... sucks, too bad, who the fuck cares?

my sister used to tell me that, whenever she had a crush on someone, she would have a dream of her marrying that somebody. i've never really had any dreams like that, besides the one time i married tuxedo mask. and, let me tell you, i would never oppose that fictional man!

a girl i used to be incredibly close friends with always knew she wanted to marry, and have kids. it seemed she lived her whole life around this one definite know of her future, and made sure she would eventually achieve it. low and behold, during her last year of high school, she's already engaged. she's well on her way of getting her dream accomplished.

and here i am, never even having a thought about it. i can't even imagine myself married, or standing in a person's company who would want to be with me twentyfour hours, seven days a week, in the twelve months of the year. forever. or at least, "until death do us part".

i'm not sure if i'm so apathetic about the topic of marriage because nowadays, it seems like people marry and divorce like no tomorrow, and the idea of finding that "forever someone" seems so... nonexistent.

i bet that forever somebodies do exist, but it just seems like the amount of people actually wanting to find a forever someone is so rare now. i feel like all anybody wants know is a nice ass and a way to get laid.

but here i am, a half hour after the soon-to-be married couple and know-it-all man left the table, and i'm thinking about that time in the future. that way time. i'm not sure if i'll get married. it isn't so much that i don't believe in it - granted, i wouldn't want to have a religious ceremony, or anything involving the church... considering i'm not religious, or a church goer - but it just seems my life was never revolved around getting married.

my life has always been revolved around being educated, get a job, move out, live a successful life. what do i do once i accomplish all of this though? do i settle down? travel? write books? frolick in fields of dandilions and sneeze a storm thanks to my allergies?

so maybe i'll tie the knot one day. i won't wish for it or anticipate it. plus, i'm so young now. why am i worrying about it all of a sudden?

if it happens, it happens. if not, i wouldn't know what i'm missing out on anyway.

let's see what the future holds.

• work like crazy.
• deposit checks into bank.
• school.
• save money.
• study.
• find roommates. find apartment. move out.
• school & study.
• freedom.
• live on own.
• study.
• work like crazy.
• be with friends. what friends?
• study.
• get piercings: second piercings. cartilage. industrial.
• chill out. freak out.
• cry for three months. note: industrial piercing.
• study.
• work like crazy.
• cook college life good food.
• study.
• study.
• relax.
• study.

the plan from now until whenever i can move out. and then some.